Tag Archives: anxiety

march 13: train delays and psychic stress

What I tell boyf when the train has major delays: “Boyf!!!! I might not see you for an HOUR LATER than I planned to DDD: there’s a FIRE EXPLOSION on the tracks and the train has stopped moving!!

What I tell my mom:
“On the train, some delays but it’s all good!”

I should talk to myself the way I talk to my mom when I don’t want her to worry. It’s definitely more reasonable. The train is finally moving now!

PS There’s been a guy sleeping next to me this whole time. Not sure if he knew the train had ever stopped, ‘cause he’s sure not phased by it!


march 12: Reflective writing, WordPress prompt, and hump day

I woke up in a bad mental mood this morning, feeling stressed and worried about stuff going on. Before going to the hairdresser’s with my mom, I grabbed my sketchbook and pen. In the waiting room, I doodled the shiny black heels and red hairdo of one of the stylists, then began to write. I instinctively undervalue reflective writing because it’s not like I can use it as a writing sample on a resume, or use it to practice essay-writing skillz for academia, but it’s definitely the type of writing I’ve done the most (discounting school assignments). It’s usually very personal, so I’m not comfortable sharing it, and it’s honest, so it’s not necessarily flattering for me xD. I wrote about a moment that seemed to be the root of a lot of anxiety, missing description and analysis as different parts of the memory came to mind. I realized that the moment itself didn’t bother as much as all the worries it triggered. When the hairdresser called me up, I had learned a bit more about myself. It was a mini-epiphany!

I wonder if reflective writing and an analysis paper based on personal experience are the same thing? I think reflective writing is more free-writing that isn’t necessarily edited into a final product and shared. One stems from the other.

But some days I just wake up in a bad mood, which (like most things) doesn’t last forever.

I recommend recalling something that brings a lot of emotional baggage when it visits your mind, and writing about it. I also recommend eating tortilla chips with marinara sauce and playing chess with someone for fun.

Lastly, it’s Wednesday! Midway through vacation. I’m learning html, I played a game of chess with my dad, and I hung out with my mom.